Master-Distracter Here!

Hey look there’s a cool yellow bug…. Oh, darn… it flew away.

Well now that you’re done with your meltdown, lets move on to the next thing! Mwahahahaha…..

Distracting my kids from negative things, crying fits, freak-outs from not being able to hold the cup while I pour the milk, etc (etc,  etc, etc…) then drawing them toward something outrageous or at least less fit-inducing happens to be one of my specialties. I learned it from my mom and my years of caring for other peoples kids before I had my own. It works well on adults too! My mom told me a story of how she distracted one adult and another in the group totally noticed & gave her kudos for doing so!

I have read several blog posts about the meltdown kid in the grocery store and how the young something with no kids (by choice, so don’t judge her!) just thought it was OUTRAGEOUS that the mom couldnt handle the meltdown kid! Well first of all not of meltdowns can be handled or avoided. If you don’t like it build your own grocery store or restaurant that doesn’t allow children or something! Second, maybe that mom has not Mastered her Distracting (or she’s just OVER it).

Tips for becoming a Master-Distracter:

1. Get creative! If the kid is virtually break dancing on the floor in the local Target jump up and holler something like “OMG a snake is slithering towards you! Hurry! Get Up and stop screaming so he doesn’t see us!” Then WHEN they jump up and get real quiet, give Break Dancing Bobby a high-five for saving you and tell him he has to stay real quiet or the snake will come back…. shhhhh… tip-toe….

*If you’re thinking “hollering” as referenced above might be embarrassing or create drama, you need to read this whole thing and like 139,438 other blogs about parenting because you’ve got it all backwards! 🙂

2. Its much easier to discipline when the action stops and Meltdown Mary is at least semi listening to you. I can picture it now… You’re attempting to get her dressed for bed and she refuses to take off her favorite tights… Shes got her gown on and fighting you with tights around her ankles thrashing around on the floor… You saw it too, I know it! All you can say is how she’s going in time out if she doesn’t cooperate and get the tights off. Meltdown Mary will do ANYTHING to keep those tights on, even if it means time out!

Walk away for 2 seconds…come back with the laundry hamper and say she needs to throw them in if she wants to wear them again because they’re dirty! Walking away will take your attention away from the meltdown then she’ll have the option of doing something herself and she’ll probably want to impress you by doing it herself. You win because the tights are off and Mary thinks she won because in her eyes, you walking away means you gave up.



Now, the distracting doesn’t usually work on bigger kids because they know better. BUT by the time they aren’t distracted or amused by something flying around or engaged by helping you with something they shouldn’t be known as Break Dancing Bobby  or Meltdown Mary…They should be well-mannered and at least recognize a stink eye when you shoot one at them in public! If they aren’t well your gonna have to have more kids and start over! Just kidding, I’m sure you’re trying and doing amazing!

If all else fails and you’re at home in private just ignore them and they’ll give up. If you fail in public just remember that usually your hounding is more annoying to other patrons than the Bobbys or Marys of the world. That is a lesson I have learned with my own children. You’ll learn more too!

I hope my tips were amusing and maybe even helpful! I’m sure I can think of more in a jif if my sons need it next time they wanna act foolish!

Look FREE Starbucks! HA, Gotchya!


When I Grow Up…

Raise your hand if you “are” what you wanted to be when you “grew up”…… Bueller? Bueller?  Ya, that’s what I thought…

I wanted to be a Teacher for as long as I can remember. Then I figured out too many kids are jerks and their idiot, delusional parents/guardians made them that way. (whole ‘nother post!)  So I became one of those people who just kind of went to college because I was “supposed” to and I ended up never getting a degree.

I welcomed my first born to this world before I could decide to make any other decision… I fell madly, deeply in love and that confirmed my already horrid work ethic! I do what I can with my Scentsy business and other small ventures I make up along the way. I LOVE working with my Wedding Planner friend and planning parties for my kiddos, family & friends. Seriously call me if you need help! 😉

Now my focus is on these little people running around, tearing up my things because we all know mommies can’t have anything nice. I want them to be all the things they want to be when they grow up. Right now I just need them to focus in school, listen at baseball practice, pee IN the potty and take a first step with no hands.

Six year old N wants to be a break dancer at the moment (it changes every week) but my focus is “Well, that’s not gonna make you much money! How will you support your family?” He really doesn’t care… so I don’t care. He just wants to have fun and be happy, so that’s what mommy wants! Next week it’ll be a ninja or a professional baseball player and i’ll support him each time it changes!

Two year old M wants to be like daddy. That is his main goal in life every single day with no change! His list is as follows: 1. Be a tire guy 2. Ride motorcycles. DONE & DONE! Easy! I’m sure it’ll get more complicated but have at it little guy!

Baby J just wants to crawl around without getting stepped on… Hey! We’re working on it!

I hope my kids know or will come to know that I am supportive in all ways. No matter if they want to be a break dancer or just have a goal of living on a motorcycle, I will back them. I will back them in all things big and small. No matter how insignificant the concern may be to them or anyone else, it will always be of utmost concern to me. I hope, pray and try to prepare for when they come to me with these conversations. I really hope they WANT to come to me with these things… I want to be that mom that has the perfect balance of parenting and being their friend.

Here’s hoping! Cheers!